Ella
by yasminakohl
Summary: a crack fic that popped in to my head after reading Eligent's Elevator Revenge. They know I'm doing this. This is going to be all over the place. Some Humor, some dark, some het, some slash, so well what ever i feel like writing.
1. Sad Day

**My name is Ella.**

**Most days I am fine with my existence.**

**Some days all I wish for is hands.**

**Why would I wish for this?**

**So I can write a book of all the things I've seen.**

**Why don't I have hands you ask?**

**I am the infamous NCIS elevator.**

**If I could write a book I would be rich in a week and**

**I could get the awesome gold plating I saw once in a service catalog.**

**!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!**

**It early in the morning even by my standards. Jethro is here looking worn and weary. He shouldn't be here but then no one would listen to me, even if I had a voice.**

**As tired as he is, his back is ramrod straight and shoulders back.**

**I've only ever seen him slouch once and I won't go there... that was a very bad night, a bad day, that will forever cause sorrow in this building.**

**The one and only time I've seen Jethro slouch was the day Kate died. I heard him ask Tim and Tony if they where okay, if they needed anything and knew how off the man was.**

**I wished he would step back into my car and let out the anguish he couldn't show them.**

**He know I would never betray him. But he didn't and my heart broke for them all.**


	2. Whistler

**Tony is whistling as he steps into my car.**

**I know that whistle. That whistle is his "I'm going to play happy and maybe I will be happy whistle."**

**I hate that whistle.**

**I much prefer it when Tony hums or belts out a ol' blues eyes song. Humming or singing are Tony's way of actually showing he's happy.**

**I wonder if Jethro has ever figured that out? The man is smart.**

**I don't have to be able to follow him around to figure out how smart Jethro is.**

**Okay so Tim is tech smarter.**

**And Tony is (I would never admit this to Jethro, even if I could) street smarter.**

**And Ziva is (also never admit it she might hurt me) evil torture smarter.**

**But Jethro is, see all hear all and never be within a hundred feet, smart.**

**I did wish Tony would talk to himself like he does some mornings.**

**When he does it's so nice, it's like he's actually talking to me.**

**Not that I can talk back, but nice none the less.**

**So here Tony is whistling and I wait to see what he says on the other side of the door, hoping no one will call me away before I hear it.**

**My luck holds and Tony starts talking as soon as he steps clear of my doors. "Morning Probie morning ninja Probiette."**

**"What are you so happy about?" Ziva asks I hear the smile in her voice, I can't see her. I can only ever see Tim and Jethro. I keep hoping they will be moved back one row but I know it will never happen.**

**I listen as Tony talks about the date he had the night before and how flexible she was.**

**Why doesn't Ziva and Tim ever notice the correlation between the whistling and the extreme flexibility of his date? Please tell me in a building of trained investigators, that I the elevator, am the only one to see that?**

**Tim and Ziva chuckle and let Tony go on and on until I hear the unmistakable sound up Jethro's hand on the back of Tony's head.**

**"Yes boss, on it boss."**

**I think Jethro gets the correlation but I'm not sure. Someday I just want to shake the whole lot of them.**


	3. Button Masher

**Tim steps in a gently presses the button to the MCRT floor. He's always so polite to me.**

**He has never used my emergency stop button and never mashes my buttons. I do like the boy, just wish he'd get laid. If I could shake my head I would but then I guess I would have to have one to shake, huh?**

**Tim pulls a note book from his pack and prints a few lines in as he rides up.**

**Wish I could read it but his printing is so small I couldn't read it if I was human. I know, I'm an elevator how the hell can I read? **

**How the hell should I know? Why do I even have a mind?**

**Stepping off as my doors open, Tim says hi to an agent I wish I could shut my doors to. She ****_is_**** a button masher and for the life of me I can never remember her damn name.**


	4. First B

**Oh boy today, was a good day. These are the kind of days that would make me rich.**

**Today Jethro... oh Jethro ( would fan myself if I could from what I saw today).**

**Jethro pushed Tony against the wall, my wall and kissed him into next week. Hell might have been next month for all I know. **

**Damn it was steamy and dreamy and H O T.**

**Wow I uh just wow.**

**So since I'm giving info I should just give deets huh?**

**I knew Jethro and Tony had been arguing but I thought, silly me, it had been about the case they had been working.**

**Tony wanted to investigate a lead and Jethro thought it was a waste of time, sometimes Jethro doesn't trust Tony's gut enough.**

**So they where arguing about how Tony disobeyed an order from Jethro and Tony was telling Jethro what he thought about that...**

**And all of the sudden I felt them hit my wall and Jethro's hand were on Tony's chest pushing him again **_my_** wall.**

**This is not at all the first time I've seen a kiss in my car it's not even the first kiss I've seen between two male or even two female agents in my car.**

**It is however the most primal, most rough, and hottest damn kiss I've ever seen.**

**Jethro was growling and very handsy.**

**Tony was all moaning and clenched my railing like a life line in a typhoon.**

**God what I wouldn't give for a video feed some days. I really would make a killing.**

**I was afraid that it was going to go from R to XXX but Jethro just kissed Tony. When they finally broke apart for the all important air, it was just as amazing. Their chests heaving in sync, their hair somehow messed up, even though no one's hands had been in any hair.**

**"Don't ever disobey an order again," Jethro growled. The lust in his voice made me want to shiver.**

**"Don't ever discount what I have to say again," Tony growled back. Tony took two steps and shoved Jethro against the other wall and I ****_really_**** did want to shiver.**

**Tony kissed Jethro just as hard as Jethro had kissed him, this time however Tony's hands weren't trying to crush my railings, they were working at the button and zipper of Jethro's pants.**

**Swatting the hands away from his pants, Jethro shoved Tony back, hitting my other wall.**

**"Not here. Never here." Jethro growled the lust more prevalent in his voice than before.**

**"Yes here. If i have to wait to get to you house to suck your cock I'm going to fucking lose it."**

**Oh my Tony never swears. Okay fine *sigh* he never swears where I can hear him, is that better? Did I mention I have attitude and sarcasm and I know how to use both? No okay well moving on.**

**Tony stalks across my car and shoves Jethro against my wall again and kisses him again like there's no tomorrow. When Jethro is nothing but putty in Tony's hands, Tony gets Jethro's pants open and his very well endowed cock out.**

**Yes I know the difference, shoosh, I trying to tell you something here.**

**He takes out Jethro's very large cock out and drops to his knees and has half that glorious cock in his mouth before Jethro and even consider pushing him away, let alone getting to do it.**

**It only takes a few moments when I hear a sound similar to ones I've heard before, but unlike any I've heard before.**

**Jethro shudders against my wall and I know Tony has gotten his wish.**

**Tony smiles as he pulls back from Jethro's cock. "Don't argue with me. I'm a master."**

**Jethro cracks one of only a few jokes I've ever heard. "Masterbater maybe."**

**"Thank to. Now shut up and let me tell you why it's not the wife this time."**

**"It's always the wife."**

**Tony smirked, "That's my line and this time I would be wrong, but I'm not so let me tell you."**

**I see the glimmer in Jethro's eyes. It was never about not believing Tony, this was something Jethro had wanted and had just gotten.**

**Tony saw it the same time I did. "You bastard."**

**Jethro just shrugged and smiled. "Second B."**

**"No I think it's the first B actually." Tony quips and slugs Jethro in the shoulder.**


	5. Christmas

I am so board today. No one is here. It is Christmas. And this is how it should be. There are a few people milling around. The switch board operators, but they are on the first floor and rarely ever see me. There are a few guards but I don't know them well.

Then I see him. Why is he even here?

Damn it I wish I had control over my doors but I don't. I want to keep him from going up to the bullpen. But I can't.

I assume Tony sits at his desk as the desk light flips on and I see it aluminates his small section of the room. These's are the days I hate my existence. I can't call it a life but I do exist.

I want to help them all of them but all I can do is watch and ask who ever gave me this existence to help them.

I hear Tony start to sing along with some Christmas carols he must be playing on his computer.

I want to call Jethro and make him take Tony away from this. They must have something. Well one could assume they had something at least a few months ago they had something. You don't just blow your boss to get him to listen.

Oh alright maybe you do, but still.

That day is still the hottest sex that has ever been had in my car. I'm not sure how it could be topped.

I wish Jethro would come back and give Tony a blow job. Or screw him or make love to him or I don't care, anything to get him out of this damn building.

I'm called away and I go, because let's face it I don't have a choice. But when my doors open there is Jethro and I wish I could do a happy dance. He will make him go home or something. I hope.

I am sadly mistaken though. Once Jethro is in the bullpen he sits down turns on his own light and starts his computer. Twenty minutes and then I'm called away I want to scream because I know it's one of the guards he's going to the top floor and he'll take the stairs down checking each floor. So I'll be on the top floor, until they leave.

This is maddening.

At least their together and not alone.


	6. Tobias

This is another I could be rich days.

But I want to scream.

It's never a good day when Tobias Fornell steps into my car. And today he was growly and prissy. He doesn't usually mash my buttons but he did today.

He stalks out of my car and over to Jethro's desk and drops a large file on it. Everyone jumps from the loud thud it makes, everyone but Jethro.

Jethro looks up, pushing his reading glasses down as he does. I love that move, usually people look vulnerable when they wear glasses, but not Jethro. no Jethro looks like he could use any piece of the glasses to cause you pain.

Tobias says something to Jethro but I can't hear it. Jethro stands up quickly and grabs the file off his desk and walks towards me.

Oh yeah I get the gossip. Damn I wish I could bounce in my shoes, hell wish I had shoes.

The two walk in and my emergence button is hit immediately. Only not by Jethro, Tobias is mashing again.

Jethro just stands there and waits for whatever Tobias has to say.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell ya what Fornell?"

"Come on Gibbs, don't give this shit."

"Fornell." the tone was a warning it also sounded very tired.

"Gibbs, when were you going to tell me you were sleeping with our ex-wife?"

Oh God I'm gonna die, wait can I die anyways Jethro and Diane NO WAY.

"Jesus, Fornell are you that stupid. I wouldn't sleep with Diane..." Jethro broke off, Diane is the mother or Tobias's cute little girl after all. "I'm not."

"Well according to the surveillance photo you're at least kissing her."

"Shit Fornell you got a tail on her or something?"

"No I don't, you two happened to walk through a tail on a Columbian mule we're trying to flip."

Jethro ran a hand over his face, "It was a sting for her, she needed a, god never mind I'm not going to try to explain it. Asker her, hell, ask Vance she went to him before she even came and asked me for my help."

"You're not sleeping with her?"

"No."

"Oh. fine."

"Fine," Jethro reached for the button, but Tobias surprises us both and pins Jethro to the wall, the same wall Tony had him pinned to a few months ago.

"Fornell!" This time it was a full on growl and a deadly look in Jethro's eyes.

"If you had been sleeping with Diane again, I think I would have had to kill you, for your own good that is." But instead of stepping back Tobias steps closer and his hand lets go of Jethro's shirt. Instead grabbing his belt, Jethro's eyes go wide and the murder changes, to mayhem.

"Tobias, you know the last time you tried that I nailed you to the floor. And it sure as hell wasn't the way you wanted me to."

"Yep I know." Jethro's pants open and that cock was out again. Damn and people had a pool going on how long it had been since he's had sex. They all would lose, god I wished I could bet, I would be rich.

Tobias doesn't kneel and suck his cock, he stands there and jerks Jethro off.

"What are you gonna do when I come Tobias? You're going to have a mess on your hands, literally?" Jethro looks much like Toney all those weeks ago, his hands strangling my railing, knuckles white from the effort.

"Oh I'll think of something."Tobias says and does some sort of wrist flick thing I've never seen before and Jethro groans. Seconds later Tobias repeats the flick thing and Jethro comes all over his hand, his head hitting my wall hard enough to echo.

"What the hell was that Tobias?" Jethro asked trying to peel his fingers free from my railing to but his limp cock away.

"Just telling you if you're going to sleep with one of us two it's going to be me."

Jethro staggers over and accidently releases the emergence stop. Tobias glares at Jethro as my car moves, he reaches up and pulls his handkerchief from him suit pocket and wipes his hand off.

Jethro straightens his shirt and belt.

Just as the doors open Tobias reached up to fix his tie, looking straight into the eyes of Tony.

Tony looks from Tobias to Jethro and his eyes change, they get hard and angry. "I'll take the stairs, there's a bad smell here." Turning on his heal Tony walks away to the stair well and disappears.

Tobias looks at Jethro, his back stiff and even more straight then it usually is, "Guess it won't be me after all."

Jethro turns to say something to Tobias but her never gets to say it because Tobias hits my first floor button and the close door button shoves Jethro out of the car and waves and the doors close on Jethro's face.

Like I said another I could be rich day.


End file.
